What might be? What might have been?

I've got this amazing friend that comes to New York two or three times a year. Whenever Tali is in town, my life gets a lot less boring. Her birthday is tomorrow so she decided to make a weekend of it. When she called last month to let me know, I mentioned that I was interested in this new musical called If/Then.

A few days later I got this text.

This is a new musical starring Idina Menzel that opened LAST WEEK. No big deal. (Very big deal.)

So the show was today, and I was blown away. Obviously Idina was incredible, but I also just loved the concept.

If/Then is about a woman in her late 30's who gets out of a bad 10 year marriage and moves to New York City to start over. In the first scene she is confronted with a choice, which seems incredibly insignificant (hang out in the park vs go meet up with some friends). The show follows the two different paths of her life based on which choice she made.

I believe that our personal experiences and emotions bring out the beauty of the art we see, and I know that's what happened to me during this show. I'm this single woman living in New York City pursuing a career that sometimes seems pointless. I'm faced with choices all the time that feel like they are life altering.

Where would I be if I hadn't chosen theatre? Who would I be if I'd stayed in Utah and never gotten the travel bug? What would I have if I didn't know what it was like to have nothing?

"Some other me is homeless. Some other me is queen. Some other me has seen things that no other me has seen. If I met her, I would ask her that one question we both fear. Some other me, how'd you end up here?"

I just can't stop thinking about this show and what you can draw from it. Nothing good comes from what-ifs and we need to live and love now with what we have. This show is also a love letter to New York, this city that I've been really falling for these past few months.

The whole show touched me. I was reminded why I love this city, why I love theatre, and how important it is to love the people in my life.

More Quotes:

• You've always had the right dream.
• Deep down I'm a coward afraid to let you in, but the only thing more frightening is to say, "what might have been?"
• Love doesn't make us perfect, it just makes us want to be.
• I won't be sorry that you said to leap and I leapt.
• Am I always starting over in a brand new story? Am I always stuck at 1 after all I've done. Because I've earned all of my riches and learned every last lesson too. So how can I start new?

I honestly can't pick a favorite song, but here are a few that I'll have on repeat for a while.

(Anthony Rapp, who you may recognize from Rent)

Song starts at 1:25

"You learn to stand alone at last. So brave and bold and strong and stout. You learn somehow to like the dark and even love the doubt. You learn to hold your life inside you and never let it out. You learn to live and die and then to live. You learn to live without."