What might be? What might have been?

I've got this amazing friend that comes to New York two or three times a year. Whenever Tali is in town, my life gets a lot less boring. Her birthday is tomorrow so she decided to make a weekend of it. When she called last month to let me know, I mentioned that I was interested in this new musical called If/Then.

A few days later I got this text.

This is a new musical starring Idina Menzel that opened LAST WEEK. No big deal. (Very big deal.)

So the show was today, and I was blown away. Obviously Idina was incredible, but I also just loved the concept.

If/Then is about a woman in her late 30's who gets out of a bad 10 year marriage and moves to New York City to start over. In the first scene she is confronted with a choice, which seems incredibly insignificant (hang out in the park vs go meet up with some friends). The show follows the two different paths of her life based on which choice she made.

I believe that our personal experiences and emotions bring out the beauty of the art we see, and I know that's what happened to me during this show. I'm this single woman living in New York City pursuing a career that sometimes seems pointless. I'm faced with choices all the time that feel like they are life altering.

Where would I be if I hadn't chosen theatre? Who would I be if I'd stayed in Utah and never gotten the travel bug? What would I have if I didn't know what it was like to have nothing?

"Some other me is homeless. Some other me is queen. Some other me has seen things that no other me has seen. If I met her, I would ask her that one question we both fear. Some other me, how'd you end up here?"

I just can't stop thinking about this show and what you can draw from it. Nothing good comes from what-ifs and we need to live and love now with what we have. This show is also a love letter to New York, this city that I've been really falling for these past few months.

The whole show touched me. I was reminded why I love this city, why I love theatre, and how important it is to love the people in my life.

More Quotes:

• You've always had the right dream.
• Deep down I'm a coward afraid to let you in, but the only thing more frightening is to say, "what might have been?"
• Love doesn't make us perfect, it just makes us want to be.
• I won't be sorry that you said to leap and I leapt.
• Am I always starting over in a brand new story? Am I always stuck at 1 after all I've done. Because I've earned all of my riches and learned every last lesson too. So how can I start new?

I honestly can't pick a favorite song, but here are a few that I'll have on repeat for a while.

(Anthony Rapp, who you may recognize from Rent)

Song starts at 1:25

"You learn to stand alone at last. So brave and bold and strong and stout. You learn somehow to like the dark and even love the doubt. You learn to hold your life inside you and never let it out. You learn to live and die and then to live. You learn to live without."

Waiting For Godot

Yesterday I had a spur of the moment opportunity to see Waiting For Godot for a relatively low price.  Obviously I jumped on it.  

I mean who doesn't love these two?

Sir Ian McKellen

Sir Patrick Stewart 

Best Buddies.

In case you haven't been following it, these two are best friends in real life and have been posting a lot of fantastic photos during their time here in New York.  Google Images. 

The play, which I'd never read or seen before, is about waiting.  It's about how our lives really are just waiting, but it is what happens in the meantime, and who we wait with that matters the most.  These two actors, and the other two supporting actors were incredible.  I was laughing out loud for so much of it, and it really is A PLAY ABOUT NOTHING.  Nothing happens.  The entire time.  But I was so entertained.  

Most importantly, it made me think about life and myself, and who I am choosing to spend my time with.  

Some Quotes:

• "I'm like that. Either I forget right away or I never forget."
• "Let us do something while we have the chance! I tis not every day that we are needed. Not indeed that we personally are needed. Others would meet the case equally well, if not better. To all mankind they were addressed, those cries for help still ringing in our ears! But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late!"
• "Don't touch me! Don't question me! Don't speak to me! Stay with me!" "Did I ever leave you?" "You let me go."
• "This is becoming really insignificant."
• "Let us not waste our time in idle discourse."
• "We wait until we can get up, then we go on."
• "I can't go on like this!" "That's what you think."

It is days like today where I feel very lucky to be here right now, doing this.